Into Yellowstone - Tackling The Beast

Tuesday, June 3rd

Brennan and I have headed out West, In search of something intangible, something that I've heard is worth finding - our souls. We departed on a Wednesday, a dry, soulless, mid-week day that was worth leaving behind anyways. The wind took us to Chicago to see recently lost friends - though our souls certainly weren't there. All I could see were godless city-folk that would rip our hearts if we let our guard down for a second. We left that awful place in two days time in search of something more, something more rugged and primitive - maybe some scenic view that would inspire tranquility or some natural life that would cause us to question our own existence. We landed at Brennan's relative in Rochester, MN and went bowling. For a moment one night between Reno 911 and Team America I heard faint whisper coming from an ethereal part of me. Was it my soul? I wish I knew.

We left in good spirits with full stomachs and headed to the Badlands. I've learned that the clay-rich soils of this geological feature have been extensively eroded by wind and rain, exposing a stratification that represents millions of years of varying sedimentary deposition. Obviously black magic, a tool in Satan's repertoire that pulls us towards science and away from the natural mystery of God's wonderments. Thus we stayed only a short time to hike, hoping to tackle some of the rattlesnake population because I've heard that danger helps you find your soul. Obviously the rattlesnakes didn't come near us because Brennan hadn't shaved in a while.

Yesterday we headed to Mount Rushmore, a stone's throw away from Satan's pillars (the Badlands). I knew from the start that I wouldn't find my soul near giant head carvings of four dead presidents. It was interesting nonetheless, though all I could think about was how I badly I wanted to carve myself in the rock riding George Washington's big nose like a wild Steed.

Today we head into Yellowstone, and I fear for my life. I fear for Brennan's life most of all, because I know that he doesn't have the savagry to take a human life. Because I know out here it will be a struggle for survival - barely drinkable water, small, if any, pockets of huntable game, and constantly erupting volcanoes. Tonight’s it’s supposed to be cold, so we will be sleeping in a dead goat carcass like Luke in The Empire Strikes Back.

I’m really hoping to triangulate the inner sphere of my soul’s coordinates today– an essential pre-game to finding this elusive bastard. Obviously this will be hard with the aforementioned difficulties, but I journey forth nonetheless. I’ve posted a picture of me doing both mental and physical callisthenic training to prepare my mind and body for today’s difficult tasks.